Thursday April 17, 2014
Valley Citizen
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Santa's little helper
December 26, 2012




It may have been curious to young children that the Elf on the Shelf got into so much trouble when he was supposed to be the source for Santa to know who had been naughty or nice. Nevertheless, these elves got into mischief all over the place. Citizen photo/Henry the dog

Thanks to the popularity of Pinterest, the elf on the shelf has been forced out of early retirement and enjoyed a strong comeback this year in homes around Teton Valley. One elf on the shelf named Yogurt Gene in Tetonia was particularly mischievous, getting into all sorts of trouble.

“Thanks to the World Wide Web, I have been able to get ideas from around the world this year,” Yogurt said. “I just wish this incredible technology had been used for a cooler name like ‘Clutch’ or ‘Ernesto’. I guess anything is better than ‘Jingles’.”

Reports from Tetonia have tracked the mischief of Yogurt to include gift-wrapping the toilet, snow angels in powdered sugar, dancing with Barbie, pranks with Kleenex and using dry erase markers to graffiti family pictures.

“I’m not certain how this whole fairy tale is supposed to work, but I guess I’m under the employ of Santa,” Yogurt said. “Despite all the mischief I get into personally, I am supposed to report back to old St. Nick about whether or not kids have been naughty or nice. Just like most sports figures and Charlie Sheen, I never signed up to be a role model.”

Taking things a little too far, Yogurt was spotted changing the color of the milk in the fridge to red and then purple with the aid of food coloring. Later in the week, he was seen exercising with a set of marshmallow dumbbells.

“There are very few items around the house I can identify with,” Yogurt said. “If Ken and Barbie aren’t around, then I have to just fend for myself. Kids these days don’t have dolls like they used to, and I get pretty lonely. And you know what they say: Loneliness breeds mischief.”

Yogurt was last seen on Hwy 32, hitching to Montana where they say the grass is greener.
Down south in Victor, an elf named ‘Willert’ allegedly lost all of his magic one night when he was touched by a child. As the legend goes, kids are not supposed to handle the elves. When a mother forgot to move the elf’s location, her child rose the next morning believing he had ruined the elf for any further fun. This situation was remedied when Willert was found the following morning with a stack of donuts made out of Cheerios.

“Elves thrive a very sugary environment,” Willert said. “But I try to stay away from the Pop Rocks ever since I picked up a Pepsi habit.”      

 

 

 


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